Have you experienced Philautia ?

There are 7 kinds of Love exist . One of them Is called Philautia . Philautia means self love . Many of us has experienced all kind of love except this one . I don’t know why but for me It has always been hard . Loving myself needs more strength than any other love . Am I week to accept myself ? Why is it so hard to accept yourself and why is it so easy to doubt your own worth ?

I always doubt when I see someone complimenting me . I always believes that I am not good enough . No matter what my friends says I never accept their words like They are just lying to me to make me happy . Why is it so? Why is it so hard to accept that I am great ? My self -esteem challenges me . My thoughts made me believe that I don’t deserve love . How do I expect someone else to accept me if I can’t do that for me ?

I wonder Is this the reason that I attract to toxic people more often ? My friend told me I do things out of my comfort to make others happy . May be He is correct . I am tired of always being available to those who never appreciates me . But I can’t change me . This is me .But now I also want to experience this love . Love for me from me .I am done pleasing people who can’t see my efforts or who just wants to suck everything out of me . They are gonna leave me empty . I am always scared of loosing people though I don’t get what I actually deserve .Don’t I deserve Love ?

I believe loving yourself is healthiest type of love . It won’t break your heart . It won’t take away your energy your happiness out of you .It won’t leave you alone doubting yourself . It helps you to know yourself more . To accept yourself more .We all deserve this kind of love . We all should experienced this love .