Too much of me ..

It’s been a while I have not written anything . I was busy or you can say I was making a fool of myself by avoiding my feelings . I believe its too hard to avoid your emotions at one point of time . I could not stop myself today from writing as I have been feeling a lot of pain at this moment . This is not the first time I am suffering from this pain that comes with a heart break . I have been through this path before as well .I wonder why do I give so much of me to the people who can’t handle a small part of me.

This is true that I am full of emotions . I am sensitive so I told him to not to play with me as I am not someone he owns . I am not his toy he could play with . He found me broken and he fixed me but then again here I am into pieces . This time its more painful .This time I feel more broken .

Now ,you don’t tell me to get over it . Do you think its easy ? because It’s not . It is harder than before . I feel like I am such a stupid person who let him take me for granted . He knew me very well . He has seen me crying over my mistakes . He knew what I am scared of .May be This was my fault .I let him know so much of me without doubting his selfish intentions . I came so close to him that now it is so hard to push him away .

I feel like This has something to do with me . May be I should not feel too much but that’s who I am . How do I stop being me ? I think I scared off him with my “too much emotions” or he was a complete bummer who could not handle me . I regret that I gave him access to me so easily and now I feel so empty .